I cannot find my penis.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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