i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just high enough for therapy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
