More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
