He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
