Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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