she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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