stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
