Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize