well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
