I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
