I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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