dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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