I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
