So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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