it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Enjoy the penises
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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