Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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