I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Alive.
So much puke
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
