whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
