Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
