do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize