i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
