Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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