your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
