I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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