Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
