Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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