The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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