That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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