my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
