am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize