Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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