everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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