Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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