who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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