Are we in a gay sports bar?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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