Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
