She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
