and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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