Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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