We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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