we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize