CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
