Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Duck Duck Cougar?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
