you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
