Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
