He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
