direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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