he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
