**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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