Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
