I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
