i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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