The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize