I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
