I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
