I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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