So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She bit a glass in half.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
