What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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