can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
