Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
